Concept

Conversation Scenarios

Intro

Evangelism does not look the same at a funeral as it does on Reddit. The right move with a curious coworker is the wrong move with a hurting child. This page is the playbook for real situations, sorted by setting.

Each scenario walks through the same five things: what is going on under the surface, the first thing to say, the moves that will close the door fast, where to go next, and how to land the conversation. The point is not to follow a script word for word. The point is to walk in with a plan instead of guessing.

The general tools live in other pages (Diagnostic Doorways, Listening Tools, Closing Conversations). This page is the situation-specific application. A funeral is not a debate stage. A Mormon at your door is not a hostile coworker. Different settings need different opening moves.

Pair every scenario with prayer (Prayers for Evangelism). Scripts do not save people. The Spirit does. The scripts are scaffolding to keep you faithful, present, and useful in the moment.

In full

Field-deployable scripts. Pre-loaded for specific contexts. The 10 generic tools in Diagnostic Doorways / Listening Tools / Closing Conversations are the generic plays; this page is the playbook by situation. Open the page, find the scenario closest to yours, read the script, deploy.

Each scenario follows the same structure: Read the room (the dominant defense or opening this scenario presents) → Opening line (the first thing to say) → What not to do (the failure modes specific to this scenario) → Move to (which tool / spoke comes next) → Closer (the gospel-shaped close for this context).

Pair every scenario with prayer (Prayers for Evangelism) and the psychological-defense map (Psychology of Lowered Defenses). Scenarios are not magic; the Spirit is.

§1. At a funeral (or after a recent death)

Read the room. Mortality salience is acute. Worldview defenses are temporarily lowered (Terror Management Theory, see Psychology of Lowered Defenses §4). The bereaved is in liminal space, the door is more open than usual but the wrong word will close it for a year.

Opening line. Do not lead with the gospel. Lead with presence. Say almost nothing. "I'm so sorry. I'm here. You don't have to talk." That is enough for the first 24-48 hours.

Later, when they ask (and they often will): "How are you doing this? How are you not scared?" Then: "Honestly, what holds me right now is what I believe about where [the deceased] is and where I'm going. I can tell you about it sometime if you want." That is the door. Do not walk through it uninvited; let them open it.

What not to do. Do not assert that the deceased is in heaven (or hell). You don't know; God does. Do not preach at the funeral. Do not hand them a tract. Do not use the death as evangelistic leverage in any way that feels exploitative, they will sense it and the door closes for years.

Move to. Diagnostic Doorways #3 (Mortality Question), but slowly, weeks later, when the rawness has settled. Often Listening Tools #6 (Believer-Fragment Surface) is the first move: "Did [the deceased] believe in anything? What did they say about what was next?"

Closer. Prayers for Evangelism §6 (post-conversation, "conversation that seemed to go well"). The funeral conversation is rarely the conversion conversation; it is the trust-deposit conversation. The conversion conversation is six months to two years later.

Scripture for your own heart. 1 Thessalonians 4:13, "that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope." You grieve; you do not despair. The difference is the evangelistic content of your presence.

§2. With a hostile online atheist (Reddit, Twitter, comment threads)

Read the room. Maximum reactance (see Psychology of Lowered Defenses §1). Performance dimension, they are speaking to the gallery, not just to you. Intellectualization defense dominant (§3). The conversation is a stage; the real audience is the lurkers.

Opening line. Refuse the gladiator frame. "I'm not here to debate you. I'd actually like to ask you a question, and you can answer or not. What's your story? What put you where you are on this?" If they respond with another attack, ignore it; ask again, gently, once. If they still won't engage personally, disengage with grace and write for the lurkers.

The lurker-first principle. 95% of the people reading the thread will never comment. They are the audience that matters. Write every reply assuming a hurting agnostic is reading silently and looking for whether Christianity might have something to say to them. Beat the troll on content + tone; don't try to convert the troll.

What not to do. Do not match the hostility. Do not get drawn into multi-thread point-scoring. Do not deploy the Good Person Test cold online, without the in-person relational warmth it lands as accusation. Do not screenshot for your own audience; that's content theft from a soul God still loves.

Move to. Quick Objection Responses for the surface objection they raised. Provide your answer, link to the deeper hub if relevant, decline to be drawn deeper. "Here's the 30-second answer. If you ever want to talk seriously, my DMs are open."

Closer. "Praying for you tonight. Genuinely." Then mean it. Then pray.

Scripture for your own heart. Proverbs 26:4-5, the paradox: "answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him. Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own conceit." The lurkers determine which proverb applies. Default to the first; deploy the second only when the lurker-audience needs to see the fool answered.

§3. With a coworker who brings up religion

Read the room. Workplace context, they took a risk by raising the topic. Professional-stakes defense is high (they don't want to look weird, get reported to HR, or damage the working relationship). They are testing the water.

Opening line. "I'm glad you brought that up. Yeah, I am [Christian / a believer / a follower of Jesus]. What got you wondering?" The question turns the conversation from defend your position to tell me yours. Reactance drops immediately.

What not to do. Do not corner them at lunch every day from then on. Do not make every interaction a recruiting pitch. Do not become the religion coworker in a way that damages your professional credibility, your work itself is part of the witness (Colossians 3.23, "whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord").

Move to. Listening Tools #2 (Listening Opening), "Were you raised with any faith?", for the long arc. If a specific objection comes up, Quick Objection Responses. The workplace conversation usually plays out over months, not minutes.

Closer. "If you ever want to grab coffee outside the office and talk more about this, I'd love to." The off-site venue lowers professional stakes and gives space for a real conversation.

Scripture for your own heart. Daniel 6, Daniel's workplace witness was excellence + integrity + open prayer. Your competence is part of your credibility.

§4. With a child asking about death or God

Read the room. Tender. Open. The child is not asking philosophically, they are asking will I be okay. Do not over-answer. Do not under-answer. Match the child's developmental capacity.

Opening line. "What made you ask that?" (Always start here. The actual question is usually behind the surface question. They saw a dead bird, lost a grandparent, heard something at school, had a nightmare. The behind-the-question matters more than the question.)

Then answer simply.

On death: "When people die, their body stops working, like a coat that gets too old to wear. But the part of them that loved you and laughed with you, God can keep that safe with Him. The Bible says Jesus is with people who trust Him, even after their body stops working."
On God: "God is the One who made everything, you, me, the trees, the stars. He's not a man with a beard in the sky, but He's a real Person you can know. He loves you so much He sent Jesus to be with us so we could know what He's like."
On evil / "why did X happen": "There are things that happen in the world that God didn't want to happen. People make bad choices and bad things happen. But God is fixing it, and one day He will finish fixing it, and there won't be any more sad things."

What not to do. Do not lie. Do not say "Grandpa is definitely in heaven" if you don't know. Do not threaten with hell, especially not at a child's level. Do not make God scary. Do not deflect ("ask your mom") if the child is asking you specifically, they trusted you with the question.

Move to. Pray with the child if they want, short, warm, simple. "God, thank You that You are real and that You love [child]. Help them know You are good. Amen."

Closer. "You can ask me anything, anytime. I might not always know the answer, but I'll always tell you what I think and we can find out together."

Scripture for your own heart. Matthew 19:14, "Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven." The child's question is sacred ground.

§5. With a Mormon (LDS) at the door

Read the room. They came to you. Most evangelicals respond with hostility or a closed door, be the rare one who invites them in. They have been trained in objection-handling; they are not trained in being honored as people.

Opening line. "Come in. Can I get you some water? I'd actually love to talk, but I want to ask you first about your story. How long have you been on mission? What's it been like?" Reactance drops. Defense drops. You are not playing the script they trained for.

The doctrinal core to deploy gently.

The Christology gap. LDS Jesus is a created being (the literal spirit-son of Heavenly Father, brother of Lucifer). Biblical Jesus is the eternal Logos (John 1.1, "in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God"), Creator of all things (Colossians 1.16-17), I AM (John 8.58). Ask gently: "Can I ask what you think Jesus is, created or uncreated? Because the New Testament is really clear that He is uncreated, and that's the biggest doctrinal difference between us."
The Bible-sufficiency gap. They have an additional canon (Book of Mormon, D&C, Pearl of Great Price). The biblical position: Galatians 1.8, "though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed." Joseph Smith claimed an angelic revelation; Paul anticipated and rejected that pattern. Ask: "Have you read the book of Galatians honestly, with this verse in mind?"
The historical-evidence gap. Book of Mormon civilizations (Nephites, Lamanites, the steel and wheeled chariots in the Americas, horses pre-Columbian) lack any archaeological corroboration, see DNA evidence (Native Americans are not from Israel) and the Smithsonian's official position. Compared to the overwhelming archaeological-historical corroboration of the New Testament. The Bible can be tested; the Book of Mormon has been tested and failed.

What not to do. Do not mock the underwear, the Joseph-Smith-translation, the Kinderhook plates, the polygamy, or any specific cultural marker as a debate-winning attack. They have heard all of those. Do not call them a cult to their face. Do not get into a Bible-bash. Be kind, be doctrinally specific, be patient.

Move to. Recommend they read the Gospel of John in a Bible they trust (any modern translation, not the JST). Ask if they will pray, honestly, "God, if Jesus is uncreated, show me. If He is created, confirm it." That prayer is dangerous to LDS doctrine; many converts from LDS to evangelical Christianity report praying exactly that.

Closer. Pray with them. Use Jesus' name explicitly: "In the name of Jesus Christ, the eternal Son of the eternal God, amen." The Trinitarian framing in the prayer is itself evangelistic content.

Linked hubs: Trinity vs Oneness vs Modalism vs Arianism (multi-position theology proper); Christology (the deity-of-Christ master hub); Bible Manuscript Reliability (sufficiency-of-Scripture defense).

§6. With a Jehovah's Witness at the door

Read the room. Similar to §5 (Mormon). They came to you. Highly-trained, scripted, used to being rejected. Most have never been welcomed in with kindness. Be the rare one.

Opening line. "Please come in. I'd like to talk. But first, what made you a JW? Were you raised in it, or did you join?" Listen.

The doctrinal core to deploy gently.

The deity-of-Christ pivot. JW Christology is essentially Arian (Jesus = Michael the archangel, the first-created being). The biblical claim: Jesus is the eternal Word (John 1.1, and the New World Translation's notorious "a god" mistranslation is the smoking-gun corruption). Ask: "Can we look at John 1:1 in the Greek together?" (They cannot. The NWT's "a god" has no Greek grammatical basis and is universally rejected by NT Greek scholars, Robert Bowman's Why You Should Believe in the Trinity (Baker, 1989) is the standard refutation.)
The "Jehovah" naming claim. The Tetragrammaton (יהוה, YHWH) is properly "Yahweh" in modern Hebrew scholarship; "Jehovah" is a Latinization-error from medieval Hebraists. The JW claim that "Jehovah" is the only proper name of God is itself linguistically incorrect. See Names of Jehovah.
The faithful-and-discreet-slave claim. The JW Governing Body's claim to be the sole channel of God's communication to the world is unfalsifiable and self-aggrandizing. Compare with 1 Timothy 2.5, "there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus."
The blood transfusion / 1914 / Armageddon-date failed-prophecy issues, gentle, factual, not weaponized.

What not to do. Do not get sucked into proof-text trading; they are trained for it. Do not mock the door-to-door work, many of them are genuinely sacrificial. Do not let the conversation become a defeating-them exercise; they will go home and the recovery from the encounter is by the Watchtower elders, not by you.

Move to. Ask them to pray with you, "In the name of Jesus." They cannot, technically, because the prayer to/through Jesus violates their theology. The Spirit may convict them of the strangeness of this.

Closer. Recommend Robert Bowman's Why You Should Believe in the Trinity (Baker, 1989) or Ron Rhodes's Reasoning from the Scriptures with the Jehovah's Witnesses (Harvest, 1993). Ask: "Will you read one chapter of John in any translation that isn't the NWT, and just see what the text says without their interpretation?"

Linked hubs: Arianism (the historical Christological heresy JWs revive); Trinity vs Oneness vs Modalism vs Arianism; Christology; Names of Jehovah.

§7. With a Muslim friend

Read the room. Honor required. Muslims experience Christians as crusader-coded until proven otherwise. Family / cultural / political stakes are often life-altering for a Muslim considering Christ. Be patient over years, not minutes.

Opening line. "Tell me about your faith. What does it mean to you? What was your family like growing up?" Listen for a long time before saying anything substantive about your own faith.

The doctrinal anchor points.

The Christology gap. Islam: Jesus (Isa) is a great prophet, born of a virgin, performed miracles, but is not God, not crucified (Surah 4:157 explicitly denies the crucifixion), and not resurrected. Christianity: Jesus is God incarnate, was crucified (the most historically attested fact in all of antiquity), and was resurrected (the foundation of all Christian claims). The two cannot both be true.
The cross-vs-Quran-denial gap. The crucifixion is attested in non-Christian sources (Tacitus, Josephus, the Talmud), in Christian sources (all four Gospels, all the Pauline epistles, the universal early church), and is historically conceded even by atheist NT scholars (Bart Ehrman: "the crucifixion of Jesus is one of the most secure facts of history"). The Quran's denial, 600 years later, with no historical evidence, is the doctrinal pivot the Islamic Dilemma forces.
The Islamic Dilemma. If the Quran says the Bible is true (Surah 5:46-47, 10:94 etc.) and the Bible says Jesus is God and was crucified, then either (a) the Bible-affirmation of the Quran is wrong (which collapses Quranic authority), or (b) the Bible's testimony about Jesus is true (which collapses Islamic theology). The Muslim cannot affirm both. This is the most powerful single argument for the Muslim hearer.

What not to do. Do not mock Muhammad. Do not invoke "Islam is a religion of violence" tropes (they have heard it; it shuts down the conversation). Do not be flippant about the social cost of conversion, a Muslim becoming Christian often loses family, community, sometimes their life. Be honest that the cost is real.

Move to. Recommend Nabeel Qureshi's Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus (Zondervan, 2014). Ask them to read the Gospel of John. Pray for them.

Closer. "In the name of Isa al-Masih, the Word of God." The phrasing uses their vocabulary while making the Christological claim. This is doctrinally specific and culturally honoring.

Linked hubs: Islamic Dilemma; Crucifixion Denial in Islam; Christology; Resurrection of Jesus.

§8. With a deconstructing or deconverting Christian

Read the room. Grief, not rebellion. They are not rejecting Christ; they are rejecting a tradition / community / version that wounded them. The wound may be: abuse cover-up, political captivity of the church, anti-intellectualism, hypocritical leader, perceived God's-silence in suffering, a friend's deconversion that opened a door. Validate the wound first; defend nothing.

Opening line. "Tell me what happened. What broke?" Listen for an hour if they need it. Do not interrupt to defend the church or correct theology.

The empathic frame.

"I'm so sorry. What you encountered was not Jesus, it was Jesus' followers failing Him, or failing you. The thing you are leaving is real. But the question I want to leave with you, gently, is: have you encountered Jesus Himself outside of the version you are leaving? Because He is not what they showed you. He is what you longed for them to be."

What not to do. Do not defend the church that hurt them. Do not say "you're being deceived by Satan." Do not try to argue them back into evangelicalism. Do not gossip about other deconverts with them. Do not make them feel they are betraying something.

Move to. Meaning-Centered Evangelism for the broader frame. Steps 1-3 specifically. The deconstructing Christian is often experiencing the meaning-vacuum acutely because the meaning-system they had has collapsed; the deeper meaning-frame of Christ Himself may still be available.

Closer. "I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to perform faith for me. If we never agree about church or denomination or theology again, I'm still here. Will you let me pray for you, not at you, for you, even now?"

Linked hubs: Hypocrisy; Problem of Evil; Divine Hiddenness; Meaning-Centered Evangelism.

§9. With a depressed or suicidal person

Read the room. Crisis. Pastoral care is the work; evangelism is downstream of safety. Get them help if there is imminent risk (call 988 in the US, your local equivalent elsewhere).

Opening line. "I'm here. I'm not leaving. What's happening?" Listen. Do not fix.

The non-negotiables.

Safety first. If there is active suicidality, ensure they are not alone, ensure means-restriction (no firearms / pills accessible), get a professional involved.
Do not say "God has a plan" in this moment. It lands as dismissive even when true.
Do not deploy the Good Person Test in this moment. It is the wrong tool for a wounded person.
Do not over-spiritualize. Depression is medical and spiritual; both matter; you cannot pray someone out of a chemical imbalance that needs medication.

What you can do.

Affirm their worth. "You matter. To God, to me, to the people around you. The pain is real and it's lying to you about whether you matter."
Pray with permission. "Can I pray for you? Not at you, for you. Out loud." Pray short, warm, asking for God's presence, for relief, for the next breath. End with "in Jesus' name, amen."
Stay. Don't leave them in the moment of crisis.
Follow up. The 24 hours after a vulnerable conversation are critical. Text the next day: "Thinking of you. How are you this morning?"

The longer-arc evangelism (after the crisis stabilizes): the depressed person often responds to Meaning-Centered Evangelism (Step 1, name the longing) and the Doubter's Prayer (Prayers for Evangelism §4). They are often closer to faith than they think; the despair is sometimes the suppression cracking open.

Linked hubs: Meaning-Centered Evangelism; Prayers for Evangelism §1 (boldness, sensitivity); Problem of Evil (for the inevitable "why does God allow my suffering" question, later).

Resource. Crisis text line: text HOME to 741741 (US). 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (US, call or text 988). For non-US, your local equivalent.

§10. With a "spiritual but not religious" person

Read the room. They are not your enemy. They have the correct intuition that materialism is insufficient. They are mis-aimed at substitutes (yoga, astrology, manifestation, vague "energy" spirituality). The longing is honored; the institutional Christian package was rejected, often for understandable reasons.

Opening line. "What does 'spiritual but not religious' mean to you? What practices? What do you believe?" Genuine curiosity. They are not used to being asked by a Christian without judgment.

The honoring move.

"I think you're onto something real. Materialism is not enough; there is a transcendent dimension and your soul knows it. The question isn't whether the spiritual is real, the question is whether the spiritual has a face. Is there a Person at the bottom of reality, or just an impersonal Force? Because Christianity says yes, and that Person has a Name and a face and a history: Jesus of Nazareth. The other spiritualities offer experiences and energies; Christianity offers a Person who can be known."

What not to do. Do not mock the yoga / astrology / etc. The dabbling is the correct intuition aimed at substitutes; mocking the substitute insults the intuition that anything is being sought. Do not declare them New-Age-deceived. Do not lecture about idolatry.

Move to. Diagnostic Doorways #8 (Mirror Question), "if God turned out to be real, what kind of God would you want?", surfaces the longing the substitutes are mis-aimed at. Then Meaning-Centered Evangelism Step 3, point at the personal Christ.

Closer. Recommend the Gospel of John, specifically for the Logos / I-AM Christology. "Christianity's claim is that the Logos, the underlying Word / Order / Person of reality, became a specific human you can know. Read John once. See if the Christ described there is the kind of Person your longing has been pointing at."

Linked hubs: Meaning-Centered Evangelism; Logos Christology; Christology; Argument from Desire.

§11. With a wounded ex-church person

Read the room. Different from the deconstructing Christian (§8) because the ex-church person may not have been theologically Christian in the first place, they grew up in church culture, were wounded by it, left, and now associate the gospel itself with the wound. Often a sexual-abuse survivor, an LGBT person who was wounded by the church's mishandling, a divorcée shamed publicly, a child of a hypocritical pastor.

Opening line. "What happened? I want to understand." Listen long. Believe them. Validate the wound.

The non-defensive frame.

"What you encountered was real. The people who did that to you were claiming Christ but were not displaying Him. I am not going to defend them. What they did was wrong, and Jesus is angrier about it than you are, Matthew 18:6, where He says it would be better for someone to be drowned with a millstone than to harm one of His little ones. The church that hurt you was sinning against the One they claimed to serve. I want you to know that. And I want you to know that the door to Christ Himself, separate from the church that wounded you, is still open. Whenever you are ready, on your timeline, however long it takes."

What not to do. Do not defend the abuser. Do not say "forgive and move on." Do not invite them back to church prematurely. Do not minimize. Do not theologize the wound.

Move to. Long-term presence. Often a year-plus before any direct gospel conversation is welcome. Prayers for Evangelism §2 (intercession by name) for the long arc. The Holy Spirit is the agent of healing; you are the trusted presence.

Closer. "You can take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere. And when you're ready to talk about Jesus, not the church, not Christians, just Him, I'll be here."

Linked hubs: Hypocrisy; Problem of Evil; Meaning-Centered Evangelism (for when the door eventually opens).

Cross-scenario rules

These apply in every scenario:

Pray before, during, after (Prayers for Evangelism).
Listen first (Listening Tools #2).
Honor the person more than the script, if the Spirit redirects, follow.
Match the tool to the defense (Psychology of Lowered Defenses).
Never close the door yourself, leave the relationship open even if the conversation went badly.
Trust the Spirit with the outcome, your job is faithful presence + faithful witness, not closing the deal.
Follow up. The 24-72 hours after a vulnerable conversation are when the seed gets watered or stolen (Matthew 13:19).
Find a healthy church to refer to, when someone says yes, they need community immediately. Have one in mind.